Strong enough to be Woman
by andriaallen
Summary: What happens after Helen and Kate are taken hostage with one Ziva David. Why does Ziva find Helen comforting? M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_**Yeah, this popped into my head after a particularly hard day. Some days, having your CNA is not always a light hearted thing. **_

_**Sanctuary is not mine. NCIS is not mine. **_

Helen Magnus was finally asleep. She was in her bed and she was clean and safe. She and Kate had been taken hostage while they were on a routine outing dealing with some of Helen's patients. Helen and Kate had been held for seventy two hours with a young Naval Officer by a serial killer. The NCIS team had barged in the front of the house while Will, Henry, and Declan came in the back. A battle of will's had ensued and after a check-up from a charming ME called Ducky, the women had been allowed to go back to the hotel suite they shared in D.C.

Helen jumped awake at the soft sounds of knocking on her bedroom door. "Enter." She called tiredly. It was Kate. Helen sat up and turned on her bedside lamp. Helen took in the face of the younger woman, noting the fresh tear streaks and the signs of being woken from a nightmare. "Kate, come here." Helen gently instructed the young woman to climb under the covers with her. Kate complied and immediately curled into Helen's side.

**Meanwhile three blocks down…**

Special Agent Ziva David lay in her bed staring at the ceiling of her bedroom. She couldn't quite shut her mind down. She had been taken and held hostage with two other women, one of whom was British and looked very much like her mother had. There were things about the woman that didn't sit right with Ziva. She sighed and got up. Pulling on a black silk robe she headed for her special room. She opened the door to what was supposed to be a second bedroom but instead held her piano. Ziva was no stranger to being held hostage, Somalia had changed her though. She sat at the piano and began playing from memory, still thinking of Dr. Helen Magnus.

The woman looked no older than perhaps forty, yet her eyes said she had lived so much longer and through more terrible things. Ziva wanted to know more about the woman who was this enigma. Ziva abruptly stopped playing. She left the piano open and ran back to her bedroom. She dressed quickly and grabbed her weapons and keys before jogging out her doorway. She was going to the hotel three blocks down where Helen had said they could be found.

**Back at the hotel.**

Helen and Kate had fallen asleep. Finally. They were wrapped around each other, sleeping soundly. Helen was on her stomach, an arm draped over Kate, hugging her close. The other arm under her pillow, hand wrapped around the gun she always carried.

The two women snored lightly as they sought comfort from each other. Helen was pulled out of her sleep by a knock on the door. She sat up and carefully extracted herself from Kate. She donned her black silk robe and grabbed her gun before going to answer the door.

Helen looked through the spy hole and saw the woman they had been held prisoner with. She opened the door. "Special Agent David, can I help you with something, at three in the morning?" Helen questioned the young Israeli.

"Actually, yes, do you mind if I come in for a bit?" Ziva asked the British doctor. Helen nodded and let her pass. "I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to know more about what you do. My bosses couldn't find much of anything on you other than you have lots of money and own a private research facility." Ziva said sitting on the chair that Helen had motioned for her to sit in. Helen sat across from her.

"So, you couldn't sleep. Would it have anything to do with the fact you were taken hostage, again?" Helen said, knowing about the woman already she felt that she could trust Ziva, even if her father was an ass. Ziva looked up in shock.

"How did you know?" Ziva squeaked out, shocked that Helen knew this.

"I have worked with Eli David before; I am guessing he is your father?" Helen said looking at Ziva. She nodded and smiled, becoming more comfortable with Helen.

"Tell me Dr. Magnus, what do you think of my father?" Ziva asked.

Helen thought for a moment. "I don't like him though I have to deal with Mossad for my operations in Israel. I'm guessing you don't like him either?" Helen asked, noting the stiffening of the young woman before her.

"He is a man with no feeling. I used to be proud of him, and then I volunteered for Mossad. I was always the shining star for my father, top of my classes always, the perfect Kidon Assassin, and then he sent me on my first mission. I was fifteen I had to take care of a suicide bomber. The boy was maybe ten years old. I shot him." Ziva sighed and looked at Helen. "When I got home that night my father showed how proud he was of me, we had a family celebration. I was numb, the boy was just a child and I killed him. That was when the second guessing of my father really started I suppose, but that life was all I had ever known." Helen nodded, realizing that this was the child he had said he was so proud of. Eli's story had disgusted Helen to almost no end.

"I remember the story, your father told me. I couldn't imagine doing that to my daughter; I didn't even want her to do what I do. I wanted her to have a normal life, she insisted on working with me. I couldn't stop her though." Helen said, thinking of Ashley.

Ziva looked at the doctor and noticed the note of sadness that had suddenly settled on the room. "May I ask what happened to your daughter?" Ziva said, wondering why they were getting along so well. Helen nodded and closed her eyes, willing the flash backs to go away.

"We had a group of people called the Cabal, who wanted to use my daughter against me and bring my entire network down. They very nearly succeeded. They kidnapped Ashley and drugged her. When I found her almost three months later, she was not my child; she didn't know me, or Henry. She took out five of my facilities around the world before she came after me. I had almost broken through the haze of drugs she was on before she was murdered in front of me. I see it over and over again in my dreams and I can't help but think that it is my fault that she is gone." Helen finished and watched the emotions flitter across Ziva's features.

"Wow. I did not know that, I am sorry that I asked I did not mean to bring up bad memories." Ziva stood to leave thinking that Helen would not want her there anymore.

"Ziva, you don't have to go, it is good for me to talk to someone outside the loop, I learned that a very long time ago." Helen said, stopping Ziva from rising.

"May I ask you a personal question?" Ziva asked as she sat back down. Helen nodded. "You look to be in your forties if that, but your eyes and the way you speak, you posture holds that of many years, beyond what you look. But not in the same way I do, I grew up fast, I had to. You are different." Ziva said. "Why is that, what is your secret?"

Helen took a deep breath. This is what she had been expecting. "I have not aged in over a century. Counting the time loop I went through too fix the latest disaster that plagued my work I am 273 years old, but by your records I would be 160." Helen said. Ziva in a rare not-Ziva moment, dropped her jaw in surprise.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Neither show is mine. **_

Helen watched the emotions roll across the young woman's face as she processed her age. Ziva was a child in the eyes of Helen. Having less than four decades under her belt, compared to the 27plus decades that Helen had.

"That explains your eyes, why they show so much sorrow, and age." Ziva said, finally getting hold of her emotions. This woman had intrigued her from the moment that they had been locked in that dreadful room together. "I can not imagine how much you have been through, you lived through two world wars, and so much more, death famine, depression, how can you still be alive?" Ziva didn't know why, but this woman who had done nothing more than show up at her patients house for a checkup, was thrust into a hostage situation, and on top of that she had been forced to live for over two centuries.

Helen smiled, this young woman had seen too much in her life. "A curse I bear from an experiment that I was arrogant enough to try in my youth. Though with my father that is questionable, he is still alive, I think. I don't have a clue as for my other abilities, but one of them must be the result of the experiment. It was at a Christmas party in 1892 when James Watson looked at me and questioned if I had figured out my ability yet, other than not aging." Helen took a deep breath and began again. "He was the brightest man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, he decided that a blood test for me was in order. I was astonished at the results. I heal faster, I don't age, and my reflexes are sharper than they should be. I learn quicker and that was for starters. My blood is what we injected, Source Blood, for lack of a better word; I'm a vampire without the need for blood, unless I'm pregnant. I know that the longevity was from my father, but he ages very slowly, I don't even age as fast as he does. I was young and arrogant. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, well maybe my, no not even my worst enemy, then I'd have to deal with them constantly. My blood turned into the Source Blood when I was injected." Helen finished with a joke to lighten the somber mood that had taken over the room.

Ziva looked at the older woman and realized that her life could be much worse. "So your curse is watching those you love die, any lovers you take are doomed to grow old while you remain the same. You are a remarkable woman. I could not imagine having to live longer than all of my loved ones, though I am surprised that I am alive now, where I come from, this age is a blessing." Ziva said marveling at the woman in front of her.

"I read your file, yes all of it, I am here if you want to talk about anything, but more importantly you need to talk about what happened to you two years ago. I know that it is hard, I rarely if ever, talk about some parts of my life where capture and torture reigned." Helen looked at the young woman in front of her. _'Such a young life that has been through so much, she needs a friend who can understand her, who will listen. I want to be that friend.'_

**A/N I know this is short, but the next one will be longer I promise! R&R please. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the third chapter. Enjoy, R&R please.**

Ziva looked at the older woman in astonishment. This woman had known so much of life and had seen the bad and the good. _'I can trust her' _Ziva found herself thinking. Ziva nodded. Helen smiled. "Perhaps some tea and a change of clothes for you are in order?" Helen asked, hoping that the young woman would stay.

"I don't want to impose or anything, I live very close…" she started. Helen cut her off.

"I have another night shirt, and a robe that should fit you, they might be longer than normal, but they would fit you. You needn't go home just to change. You are hardly imposing, I would rather enjoy talking with you." Helen said, watching the young woman. Ziva smiled and nodded in acceptance. Helen smiled and stood, moving to the bedroom and slipping inside silently. She grabbed her light blue silk night shirt and her extra robe and exited the room, leaving Kate still blissfully unaware of the two women awake in the next room.

Helen handed the folded garments to the Israeli and smiled."You can change in the other bedroom if you would like, Kate is in mine." Ziva nodded, looking confused but she did not dispute the fact that the woman had been sharing a bed. Ziva was shocked to find that the fact that Helen may not be available bothered her, more than it should. Ziva moved to the other room and found the en suite. She set the clothes on the counter before removing her day clothes. She grabbed the night shirt and unfolded it, startled to find that she had the same one at home. She slipped it over her head and laughed at the fact that the night shirt was indeed the right size, but a little longer than was normal. She slipped into the robe and tied it before folding her clothes and exiting the bedroom, returning to the kitchenette to find Helen brewing tea.

"Thank you, they do fit, as a matter of fact, I have the same night shirt at home, only it is shorter. You are very tall." Ziva said smiling. Helen smiled back and nodded.

"My mother and father were both very tall." Helen said, liking the sight of Ziva in her night dress. It could hardly be called a night shirt on the shorter woman, the extra five inches that had been tailored specifically for Helen made the shirt more of a dress for the five foot five woman, ending at mid-calf instead of where it hit Helen, at the knee.

"So you were destined to be taller than average." Ziva said. Helen laughed and nodded.

"I was so happy as a child, I felt small, then I went to school, and I was taller than most of the other girls, but just as graceful and proportioned. There was this one girl who made a point to make fun of my height, until my parents came to pick me up and she realized why I thought I was short. My mother was nearly six foot tall. Flat footed. My father towered at six foot two. I grew up to be five ten and a half. I wear heels most of the time, and that makes me hit the six foot mark a lot." Helen smiled. "My ex-fiancé though, he was six foot four, his brothers were six foot five and six foot six." She added. It was true; she had been around tall people most of her life. She couldn't fathom how Ashley had only been five foot six, but then again, Helen's grandmother had been about that height. Ziva nodded she understood this. She was used to being normal sized, small even; compared to the other people she worked with.

"I work with a woman, her name is Abby, and she wears three inch platforms and is already five ten. I am used to being the small one, though normal for the women in my former occupation." Ziva said. Helen poured the water into two cups and they let it steep. "You know, when I was held nobody ever called me by name, it was always something about me being Jewish. It never bothered me before then, I could always walk away, choose not to listen to them. When you are tied to a chair and beaten and degraded so much every day, you get used to it. Gibbs says that a lesser person would have broken, but I do not believe him. I was prepared to die out there in the deserts of Somalia." Ziva said before taking the first sip of the chamomile tea that she had been given.

Helen sat there, sipping quietly and listening. She felt a pang of want for this young woman who had been forced to see so much. "During the Great Wars, I was captured. I was even sent to Auschwitz. What I endured there was worse than surviving the Titanic, and to this day I have nightmares and flashbacks. I have been held prisoner, degraded, beaten and called things that would crush most. I may not have a defined religion; I celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah out of respect for many of my friends and family. Christmas and Hanukkah were my daughter Ashley's favorite holidays. She came home one day from school when she was seven and asked if she could have her friend over even if she didn't celebrate Christmas. From that year forward we did both. I still celebrate them even though she is gone now." Helen smiled at the memories of happiness overshadowing her feelings of despair at the loss of her only child.

Ziva frowned. "I am sorry that she is gone, I am sure that I would have liked her." Helen smiled and nodded in agreement before taking another sip of her tea.

"You both would have gotten along so well. Ashley would have loved to spar with you and one day I hope that you will give me the pleasure as well." Helen inclined her head at the young woman. Ziva shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"I don't usually spar with normal people, they tend to not have the same skills I do. Unless you are familiar with Kidon tactics." Ziva said looking down into her now empty cup.

Helen smirked. "I remember helping to develop some of those tactics and implementing the gymnastics requirements. Dance is an added plus, as is prior martial arts training." Ziva smiled.

"In that case, then I would gladly spar with you, providing we can find a time, after we have had some sleep and have recuperated from this last ordeal. Tell me does getting captured ever get easier?" she asked, looking at Helen.

"It never gets easier, but you do learn how to better avoid it. It will always shake one in some way, no matter how strong you are. Take Kate for instance, she has nightmares so bad she can't sleep unless someone like me or Garris holds her. She can then relax enough to sleep, which is why she is in my bed right now." Helen said, hoping to put the young woman at ease. Ziva nodded.

"So you two are not together? I noticed that she was in your room when I went to change earlier." Ziva said. Helen smiled setting her empty tea cup down on the table.

"No, she is promised to someone else. She is quite beautiful though, like you are. You are both similar, hard lives, exotic in beauty and personality for what you do. Both are traits I find attractive." Helen said carefully watching Ziva. "Why do you ask?" Helen added, wondering what was going on in the Israeli's head. Ziva smiled.

"I don't know how Kate has managed to resist your accent, I find it intoxicating, I like you. You have dark hair and piercing blue eyes, a color I had rarely seen until I came here. Yet your eyes are more captivating than most. Your body is toned and healthy, strong. Your personality is captivating and unique, unlike most peoples. I find it interesting that you are not put off by this conversation. Why is that?" Ziva asked. She truly was captivated by the British woman. Helen smirked and took the cups to the sink.

"Despite what one would think when they learn my age and heritage, I am not a prude or shy by any means. It was not uncommon for sex to happen with the same sex in my youth, just below the radar as it was indeed frowned upon. I lost my virginity to a woman. I find both sexes have their uses as lovers. I have done many things that were frowned on by society, I went to college in the 1800's, my best friends there were all male, and as a result I was obviously a whore according to the community. I was allowed to have them over when my father was out of town, and when he was home. I was frowned upon before that because when my mother died my father raised me, he did not remarry. So all of my life I have pushed the boundaries, and I hesitate to put a label on my sexuality it serves no purpose." Helen said sitting down. Ziva nodded and smiled.

"I think I understand. You are not afraid of being judged, you are who you are. I prefer women to men; I think you could guess why." Ziva said and Helen nodded in agreement. She understood the young woman and smiled.

"Everyone in this hotel room has been violated. I prefer women as well, and Kate has only just started allowing Garris to touch her intimately. I find it hard to trust most people especially with my work and secrets. That was something that William, my protégé, had issues with at first. He understands now why I still don't trust Nikola Tesla." Helen said, thinking about how she would love to wrap her hands around the bloody vampires' neck. Ziva smiled.

"He must be annoying." Helen nodded in agreement with Ziva's comment.

"And arrogant, sarcastic, backstabbing bastard is what he is." Helen added. Kate came out of the bedroom rubbing her eyes at that time.

"Hey Doc, do we have any…"Kate looked up and stopped, seeing Ziva for the first time. "..Oh hi agent David, I didn't know you were here." She added. Ziva nodded and gave a small smile.

"Good morning." Ziva said, not knowing what else to say. Helen smiled at the exchange and noticed how both women were slightly uncomfortable.

"Kate, what did you want?" Helen asked looking at Kate. Kate sat down and sighed.

"I was wondering if you brought Sammy." Kate said a hopeful look in her eyes. Helen smiled.

"In fact I did, he is in my black case on the right side, if you want him just grab him and lay back down. We'll come to bed in a minute." Helen said looking at Ziva who nodded in agreement, pleasantly thrilled that they would be sharing a bed.

Kate got up and smiled, kissing Helen on the cheek and saying goodnight before skipping to the room again. Helen turned to Ziva and smiled. "Kate may be beautiful and exotic, but she's more like a daughter to me than a potential lover. If you were wondering, Sammy is a teddy bear that I bring with me on trips, usually at home some of the younger children that stay there often find my room when they have bad dreams and curl up with me too sleep. So I often don't have a bed to myself, and I honestly prefer having someone to hold." Helen said, causing Ziva to smile.

"I understand, I myself have a few stuffed animals that I still sleep with, I don't have children to hold and sleep with and no 'other' person. However, I think that sleep would be a wise choice at this point. So please lead the way, Helen." Ziva said, stifling a yawn. Helen smiled and grabbed Ziva's hand leading her to the bedroom.

"I get the middle." Helen said laughing as Kate scooted to the middle of the bed. Kate frowned and looked at Helen.

"But I wanna be in the middle…" Kate said pouting cutely. Helen smiled and climbed on the bed, unceremoniously shoving Kate to one side and pulling Ziva down beside her.

"Kate, I get to sleep by Ziva, I want to hold both of you and if you are so desperate to hold someone, call Garris and he can be at home before we get there." Helen said, hugging Ziva to her and settling under the covers. Ziva smiled and placed a kiss on Helen's cheek. Helen smiled and returned the kiss. Kate nestled into Helen's other side and kissed her other cheek, getting one in return.

All three women were asleep within minutes. All three had been hurt, violated and degraded at some time. They were comfortable with each other and Ziva and Helen definitely had a mutual interest, in each other. They slept well into the morning, with nothing but good dreams.

**A/N I know that they are kinda OOC but I needed them to be. They will continue to be cuddly and touchy in the next few chapters. R&R let me know what you think! **


	4. Chapter 4

Helen woke up sandwiched between Ziva and Kate. She smiled and stretched, noting how Ziva was curled around her with one leg between hers and Kate had a leg over theirs. Arms were crossed over her waist, effectively trapping her in bed until one of them woke up. She could barely move stretching was about the extent.

Ziva shifted and breathed deeply, a smile forming on her face as she curled deeper into Helen. Helen couldn't resist and kissed Ziva's forehead, inhaling her scent and was surprised with a giggle coming from the Israeli. "So you are awake, and here I thought I was going to be stuck here all day." Helen smirked and kissed her forehead again, getting another smile and some giggles again. Ziva nodded against Helen's neck. Kate tightened her arms around Helen and buried her face in the taller woman's back.

"I have been awake for about five minutes. Kate is still sleeping." Ziva said placing a kiss to Helen's shoulder. The action caused Helen to shiver, in a very good way. "I think we should go back to sleep, and let Kate wake us when she is ready." Ziva mumbled into Helens shoulder. Helen just nodded and placed a kiss to the crown of her head before letting sleep claim her again.

They woke when there was a knock on the door; Helen wormed out of the bed and sleepily made her way to the door. When she looked through the peep hole she was surprised to see Special Agent Gibbs standing there. She unlocked the door and opened it. "Agent Gibbs how can I help you?" she asked.

"Agent David, is she here?" he asked gruffly. Helen nodded and motioned for the agent to come in.

"If you'll wait, I'll wake her and get dressed. It'll only be a moment." Helen said as she wrapped her robe tighter around herself. Gibbs nodded and looked around the clean room. Dr. Helen Magnus was not a normal captive. He didn't like her secrets, and Ziva was here. He sat in a chair with a good vantage point he could see everything he needed to and waited patiently for the women to emerge from the bedroom.

Helen gently shook Ziva's shoulder."Agent Gibbs is here, Ziva, you need to get up and get dressed." Ziva jumped and looked around the room before nodding at Helen and untangled herself from Kate, who had wrapped herself around Ziva after Helen had left. Helen decided on a lavender top and black slack pants. Ziva had merely put her clothes from the other day on and together the women entered the living area.

"Gibbs?" Ziva asked as she sat down on the couch.

"You okay Ziver?" he asked shooting a small glare at Helen, who had sat on the opposite side of the couch. Ziva nodded and scooted towards the center. This move was noticed by Gibbs and Helen.

"I am fine, I could not sleep and Dr. Magnus intrigues me. She helped me fall asleep." Ziva looked at the woman and blushed lightly. Gibbs saw a flicker of something in Ziva's eyes.

"Ziver, may I speak to Dr. Magnus alone for a bit?" Gibbs asked. Ziva looked at him surprised, but nodded and stood, leaving to go lay back down with Kate. The pair that was sitting nodded and watched as Ziva went back to lie down again.

Gibbs sat and watched the British woman closely. She couldn't be more than thirty-six. That was about five years older than Ziva. Helen also watched Gibbs. He was acting like a father figure, more than Ziva's boss. Helen truly understood the whole team as a family dynamic, having lived it for several years. "I won't hurt her, she is too precious for that. Everything is her move." Helen stated.

"I need to make sure. She is like a daughter to me. I lost my daughter when she was young. My team is all I have. If you hurt her I will hunt you down and kill you." Gibbs said. Helen smiled sadly.

"If only you could. My daughter was my life, and my light. She was murdered in front of me two and a half years ago. I feel your pain. But as hard as I try, I still have yet to die Agent Gibbs. Ask Ziva about me, she will tell you everything I told her. if that doesn't convince you I will show you absolute proof that you forensic scientist, Abby Sciuto, can confirm. It's been years since I've seen her…" Helen trailed off in thought. Ziva was having an impact on her that she wasn't sure about. Agent Gibbs was going to be the bear of a father figure.

Gibbs looked at Helen and studied her features. She held herself like a poised and proper woman. Her accent was intriguing, definitely high class, London, more than likely. Her eyes showed an age that was not possible though. Gibbs pondered this, he would ask Abby about it when he left here. For now, this woman had his limited blessing. He nodded at Helen and stood. "You have my partial blessing." He said as he left the room.


End file.
